


the glorious realm of anaheim

by coffeesuperhero



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeesuperhero/pseuds/coffeesuperhero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all the realms young Asgardians must study, the glorious realm of Anaheim and all the wonders it holds are not among them. Naturally, this means a field trip is in order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the glorious realm of anaheim

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewickedloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewickedloki/gifts).



> For Stina, who wanted some domestic fluff.

They have not been on Midgard for more than ten minutes, and already the children are clamoring for the attentions of the humans they have variously designated their personal guides to the realm. Dagna makes something of a constant shadow for Natasha, though she is at least unobtrusive in her omnipresence. Ullr, however, babbles along constantly at the heels of his _Uncle Steve_ , demanding tales of glory and adventure at a rate of speed so quick that Sif wonders that his brain can keep up with his mouth. 

"Have you fought in many battles since we last saw you, Uncle Steve? How many villains have you defeated? How many foes have you slain? Can I hold your shield, Uncle Steve? Is that weapon new? Oh, oh, is it very deadly? Can I hold it? Uncle Steve, can I be an Avenger? I've been working on my magic and I'm not afraid of _anything_ and--"

"Ullr," Sif says, trying to put a little steel into her voice, something which historically would not have been a problem, but parenthood has softened some of her rougher edges, as she supposes it has for Loki. 

"I'm only being _friendly_ , Mama," Ullr protests, and Steve trades a lopsided smile with Sif.

"He's fine, ma'am," Steve says, reaching down to ruffle Ullr's fine light brown hair. "Tell you what, buddy. I've got a meeting I've got to go to with your parents and your uncle, but if you're really good for Uncle Phil and your mom and dad say it's okay, we'll get some ice cream in the mess later and I'll tell you some stories." 

"I want to be just like you when I grow up," Ullr says, wrapping his arms about Steve's neck.

"I think you're fine just like you are," Steve says, and Sif smiles behind her hand. 

"Come along, Ullr," she says after a moment. "We need to find Phil." 

"All right, Mama," he sighs, detaching himself from Steve's leg with extreme reluctance. He looks up at his hero, small hands on his hips. "Remember, we had a deal." 

"I won't forget," Steve grins, then leans in closer to Sif to whisper, "I promise I won't tell him anything too frightening." 

"My children are warriors of Asgard," Sif says, holding her head high, "and royalty of that realm besides. Tell them whatever you will of battle and bloodshed, I know they will not flinch away from it." 

"What she means," drawls a voice at her elbow, "is that it is my turn to attend to the children if they have nightmares, so you are welcome to do as you will." 

Without looking, she elbows her husband firmly in the ribs; he coughs and sways a bit, but stays steady. 

Phil arrives shortly thereafter and motions to Sif and the others. "They're ready for you-- Thor's already in there. Thanks again for coming on short notice. Dagna, Ullr," he says, nodding briskly but not unkindly at the children. "You're coming with me." 

"If you think you're up to the task," Loki says. 

"Yes, I do hope you can handle them alone," Sif says, frowning. "I know you have helped mind them before, but Thor and Loki were there, and as I recall, Ullr still managed to create a sizable hole in your ship." 

"It was okay," Phil says, blandly sanguine. He shrugs. "I didn't know what that weapon did. Now I do." 

"I suppose," Sif says. 

"Lady Sif, I babysit superheroes for a living. I can handle your kids." 

\+ 

The Helicarrier is still intact when they return from their discussion with the others, and Ullr immediately makes for Steve, declaring that he had been exceedingly good and was therefore owed a number of war stories. 

"What, you want stories from Grandad here? You don't want to hear anything more recent?" Tony asks. 

"But Steve _promised_ ," Ullr says. 

"And you always embellish your stories," Dagna says to Tony. 

"That's pretty rich, coming from you, kiddo," he replies, and she smiles slyly at the ground. 

"Do give our regards to Pepper," Sif says. "We are sorry to have missed her on this visit to your realm." 

"Yeah, she's being a sexy CEO out in Anaheim," Tony says, "no idea what she's up to but--" 

"Anaheim?" Ullr interrupts, his immediate interest readily apparent in the bright smile that spread over his small face. "I have never heard of such a realm! Is it secret? Are there monsters there? Is it terribly dangerous? When can we go?"

"I am prepared for any challenge," Dagna puts in, and Tony grins and claps his hands.

+

The glorious realm of Anaheim turns out to be home to what the mortals call an _amusement park_. Upon their arrival, Tony and Steve have a brief argument over something called a _Fastpass_ \-- Steve insists that "The lines are part of the _experience_!" while Tony retorts that "People stand in line to wait for me, not the other way around, Capsicle."-- but eventually Tony prevails, and they set off into the park with Steve and the children in the lead and Tony close behind. 

"What manner of amusements does this... _theme park_... offer?" Loki asks skeptically, peering around.

"I think some of them might be your children," Tony remarks, pointing across the street, where the children have located two Midgardians dressed as large cats. This would not be a problem, were they not attempting to ride them like the giant cats they have at home.

"Oh dear," Loki says, making no move to stop them until Sif raises an eyebrow. "Very well." 

"Dagna, Ullr," he calls. "Those are not skogkatts, they are humans." 

"Sorry, sorry, they're from out of town," Steve says, embarrassed, herding Dagna and Ullr away from the costumed figures. 

"They said they were Aristocats," Ullr reports, when he reaches his parents. "I wish Kisa and Kolr could talk. Is there a spell for that?" 

"Well," Loki begins, and Sif steps on his foot. "Probably not." 

"Oh well," Ullr sighs. 

"This is a strange realm," Dagna remarks. "Those humans made very convincing cats."

"Did they now," Sif says, raising an eyebrow at her daughter, who turns her face up to her mother with an expression of childlike innocence, almost perfect but for the mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"Yes, Mother," she says.

"Your innocent face needs work, my daughter," she murmurs, and Dagna grins. 

\+ 

Steve leads them around the park from one themed land to another. After the third ride, Loki is very clearly weary of the fantasy world, but the children are enjoying themselves so thoroughly that even he will not find a suitable lie to extricate himself entirely from this adventure, though he does try his best to distract his wife. 

"Look, the Midgardians are minding them," he whispers into her ear, while the children are occupied in a shop, selecting presents for their grandparents. "Can we not slip away for a time?" 

"Patience," she says, redirecting his wandering hand to her waist instead of low on her hip, and he sighs and follows along as she hastens to catch up to the children. 

The fourth ride they are led to is Splash Mountain, which the children insist upon calling _the Mountain of Splashes_ ; they all pile into the strange loglike cars for the ride. 

"And look, if you come over here, we can get your picture," Steve explains to the children. 

"Is that really necessary?" Loki asks shiftily. "I'm certain we'll remember this occasion without the use of, hmm, visual aids." 

"I see no harm in it," Sif says, frowning at her husband. She nods at her children. "You may go." 

Moments later, they return, but they no longer look as excited. 

"There is something strange about this picture," Dagna says, offering it up to Sif. 

"It doesn't move," Ullr sighs. "And Father is missing." 

"Loki," Sif says, peering curiously down at the photograph, "why are you not in this picture? You were sitting beside me the whole-- oh, _Odin's beard_ , husband." 

"I suppose the illusions are not rendered well with Midgardian technology," he says, and he does have the grace to look slightly ashamed, but not until the children begin pouting. 

"Father, why would you use your magic to escape the Mountain of Splashes?" 

"Yes, Father," Dagna sighs, lower lip quivering _just_ slightly, "why did you leave us?" 

Loki gives their daughter a look that clearly says _I know you and I know what you are doing_ , but he takes a stab at contrition regardless.

"I am sorry, children," he sighs, and Dagna snorts in disbelief, as does Sif. "Very well, how shall I make amends?" 

"I think he shall be made to ride the Mountain of Splashes again," Sif says, and the children cheer. 

\+ 

After they emerge once more from the Mountain of Splashes-- all of them, this time-- it is late in the afternoon, and they retrace their steps through the park, eventually arriving at a small fortress. Once inside, they are welcome to Sleeping Beauty's Castle; Sif and her family exchange glances at the description of this place as a castle.

"Excuse me. Is this her summer home?" Dagna asks a guide. 

"I'm sorry, sweetie, whose?" 

"The princess who lives here," Dagna says slowly, as though she were the guide. "Is this where she summers? For this place is not even as large as one wing of Gladsheim, though it is nice of her to devote so much of her lands to providing amusements for her subjects. _I_ certainly wouldn't." 

"I-- um," the guide mumbles, but then she rallies with a smile. "Oh, of course, _Princess_. Someone must be on her way to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique!" 

"What? What is that place?" Dagna asks, and then Tony gets a scheming sort of look on his face, and shortly there after they arrive at the place in question. 

"This place is great," Tony says. "Pep brought Rhodey's niece and nephew here for their birthday and they loved it. What do you think?" 

Dagna wrinkles her nose and peers around. "What is it?" 

One of the stylists claps happily and holds her hand out to Dagna. "This is where you come when you're ready to be a princess! Are you ready for the royal treatment, your majesty?" the woman asks, beaming down at Dagna. 

Sif finds that she must cough to cover the loud laughter that attempts to escape her when Dagna looks up at the woman with thinly veiled disdain; sometimes her daughter is so like her father that Sif wonders if she has had any influence over her at all. But then after Dagna's hair has been styled and her face adorned with paints and sparkling jewels, her daughter looks around to find that Ullr has been allowed a small sword and shield, which she has not even been offered, and her lips curl so ferociously at this indignity that the staff actually backs away.

"Definitely your daughter," Loki murmurs, and Sif's lips curve in a wide grin. 

"Shall we intervene?" Sif asks, but Loki only shakes his head. 

As it is, Dagna ends up in a gown and tiara _and_ proudly bears a sword and shield away from the boutique, back straight and head held high as she marches out the door. 

Ullr bats at his mother with his play sword on the way out the door, and Sif frowns at the dull thud of it against her leg. 

"Hold a moment," Sif says, rounding on the attendant. "About these weapons you have given my children--" 

The attendant smiles so brightly at her that he practically sparkles. "No worries, ma'am, we make sure that they're all completely harmless before we give them to the children." 

"But that is precisely my point," Sif says, taking the sword he is holding. "A practice blade may be dull, but it may yet teach a child how best to do his enemy an injury. These swords are not even made of a metal durable enough to survive a play bout, let alone an hour in the yards. Look! I can bend them with my bare hands!" 

When she proceeds to snap one of the pitiful things in half with the strength of her sword hand the attendant's eyes go round and wide, like twin moons in his face. 

"Do you see?" she asks, holding up the pieces, but before he can summon the courage to reply to her display, Steve wanders over and waves at the attendant. 

"Excuse me, sorry, my friend's from out of town. Got a little too excited on It's a Small World, I'm sure you understand." 

"We see this all the time," he says sadly, shaking his head. "They really should warn people." 

\+ 

At the close of the day, they all stand together and watch as cannons send sparkling showers of light shimmering through the night sky. The children are tired, but they do not once flinch at the booming and crackling sounds around them, and Sif stands proudly at her husband's side, dividing her attention between the fireworks and her family.

"Were they celebrating someone's great victory?" Ullr asks sleepily, once the show has ended. "Did someone fight a war for this realm once long ago?" 

"Something like that," Steve sighs, and Sif lays a gentle hand on his arm.

"Thanks," he says, and she smiles. 

"We should probably get the children home," Loki says, pointing down at Dagna and Ullr, who are sleepily swaying on their feet. 

"I could stay awake and fight eight battles," Ullr mumbles when Sif bends to pick him up. 

"I am certain that you could, my son," Sif says. She presses a kiss to his temple; his wispy hair tickles at her nose. 

Nevertheless, as sleepy as they had been, the children brighten once they reach the familiar halls of the palace and the smiling faces of their grandparents. 

"Grandfather, grandmother," the children call, scampering down the corridor towards him, clutching the gifts they have brought from Anaheim. 

"Careful now, children," Odin says gravely. "What have we discussed about running in these halls?" 

"I thought that was about the skogkatt racing," Ullr says, and when Sif looks sternly down at them, Dagna steps on her brother's foot. "Ow!" 

"Sorry," she says, entirely without remorse. 

"Have you been racing through the corridors again?" Loki asks, and Ullr says "Yes, Father," while Dagna says, "Of course not," and then each child turns to stare indignantly at the other.

Frigga laughs merrily at the sight of it, the long curls of her hair bouncing at her shoulders as she does. "Oh, how familiar a sight they are," she says, winking at her son before she bends to speak to the children. She lays a hand on the gifts they hold. "Now, what have we here?"

"Gifts, Grandmother," Dagna says, as Ullr shouts, "From the glorious realm of Anaheim." 

"Oh, how splendid," Frigga says, taking what Dagna offers her and carefully unfolding it as though it were of ancient and eternal significance. "I love it, thank you, my darlings." 

"It's supposed to be for magicians," Ullr says, pressing his own gift into his grandfather's hands. "We got one for Father too but he was very cross about wearing it." 

Frigga regally adjusts the pointed cap, assuring it sits proudly atop her crown of curls. Its silver stars sparkle in the light of the corridor. "How foolish of him," she says, winking at Loki, who rolls his eyes. "Every magician needs a good hat, surely." 

"Maybe on Midgard. The Midgardians have strange ideas about magicians," Dagna says. 

"Agreed," says Loki.

"Grandfather, you haven't looked at your gift," Ullr says. 

"Indeed I have not, for I was so enchanted by what you have given your grandmother," Odin says, and Sif bites back a smile as he peers at the gift in his hands, clearly trying to determine what, precisely, his grandchildren have brought him. 

"You have to _wear_ it," Ullr says, tugging insistently at Odin's robes. "On your head. Like a helm." 

"This helm would do me no good in battle, I fear," Odin says, but then the children stare sadly up at him, and Odin Allfather, like his son, seems fairly powerless in the face of such earnest expressions. 

Well, almost earnest, anyway, Sif thinks, eying Dagna while Odin dons the strange headgear. 

Sif has seen many odd and wondrous things in her long life, but standing here, watching Odin Allfather, King of Asgard and protector of the Nine Realms, wearing what the shop attendant referred to as a _Goofy hat_ , has to be one of the strangest and most amusing sights she has ever had the fortune to see. 

Loki snickers quietly beside her while Sif struggles to contain her own mirth; the children clap their hands and grin up at their grandparents. 

"We must go and show Heimdall," Ullr says, pulling Odin along by the hand. 

"I'm sure he's already seen it," Dagna says, but when Frigga bends and offers her hand, Dagna takes it with quiet dignity, and together they shuffle away down the corridor as Sif and Loki watch them go. 

"Another delightful visit to Midgard," Loki says. "We really must bring them along more often." 

"Yes," Sif says, smiling over at him. She reaches for his hand and tugs him closer. "But there are some times that it is good to be alone." 

"Indeed," he answers, and together they return to their rooms. Alone.


End file.
